- me in the evening: oh, staying up late isn't bad, I'll manage tomorrow
- me in the morning: AM I A FUCKING IDIOT
Kind of obsessed with this today.
I can’t even describe how shitty this book is. I am writing and just shaking my head. So many errors. But I want to get my 50,000 words so I can say I did it. Maybe I’ll revisit and edit the shit out of it one day.
I’d love to think that it’s great, and the story is compelling, but honestly I feel like I am writing the most boring adventure story ever. blah
You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.
—Frederick Beuchner (via creatingaquietmind)
Google drive has an opinion on my novel. It wants me to change “nosiest” to “nicest”. No thanks Google.
On another note,
My “no sleep till I achieve my word count” strategy is not a good one. I am so tired.
Love this quote from a recent pep talk:
"Inspiration is seductive and thrilling, but you can’t depend on it to call you. It doesn’t work that way. The good thing is, inspiration is irrelevant to whether or not you finish your book. The only thing that determines that is your own sense of discipline."
I need to remember this!!
Also, Escape The Fate has been ruling my NaNoWriMo sessions the last two nights.
Did I tell you what my strategy to finish nanowrimo is this year? Yeah, I’m not letting myself go to sleep at night until I finish.
Even tonight when I didn’t get home until 11 because of bar league (we totally won, btw: SHIVAKAMINI SOMAKANDARKRAM!) I’m still up trying to pound out 1667 words before I can sleep.
For me November will equal NO SLEEP but I’ll have started on that book I’ve been wanting to write!
I just don’t want to keep falling asleep alone.
I fell asleep on my couch watching old romance movies
with my glasses still on and my book in my hands.
I woke up and ate a spoon-full of frosting
and debated whether I should set the coffee maker for the morning.
I have a king size bed with a blanket on the end I never unfold.
I always sleep on the left side, the right side kept perfectly made.
some nights my room is so quiet I can hear my heartbeat.
quiet is something I’ve had to get used to.
I bought a glass bottle of root beer today and couldn’t get the cap off.
this man gently took it out of my hands,
opened it, smiled and walked away.
I was talking to my friends about how I want to find love,
honestly I’m not sure that I really do.
unless it’s someone who would close my book
and take off my glasses when I fall asleep on the couch.
unless it’s someone that will kiss frosting off my lips
and make me excited to set the coffee maker
(because I’ll know that in the morning I’ll take two cups
out of the cabinet and smile as I pour hazelnut creamer)
unless it’s someone who will mess up my sheets
and perfectly made bed,
making this room a little less quiet.
unless it’s someone that will laugh as I struggle to open a glass bottle of root beer and instead of opening it for me he says,
“you can do it, I know you can
It’s a strange thing, how you can love somebody, how you can be all eaten up inside with needing them – and they simply don’t need you. That’s all there is to it, and neither of you can do anything about it. And they’ll be the same way with someone else, and someone else will be the same way about you and it goes on and on – this desperate need – and only once in a rare million do the same two people need each other.
—Madeline L’Engle (via creatingaquietmind)
Today for some reason I feel constantly on the verge of tears.
I’m not sure why.